[Weekly Writ is an entertainment project where we take story suggestions from our Your Ad-Vantage Facebook page and turn those ideas into a silly flash-fiction or commercial-style vignette every week.]
Weekly Writ #1: Guardians of the Treasured X-Box
The onset of summer typically ushers in a strong dose of excitement for boys and girls everywhere. However, three friends found themselves sitting around a TV with an itchy cast wrapped around each of their left arms. Through unintentional coincidence all three of them had found ways to break their arm, all within the same week. So when school let out only a week later and all the other boys and girls flung themselves into varied summertime activities full of freedom and fun, while the summer crept forward with dismal indifference for these three boys.
“Can we change the channel? I really don’t want to know which type of ice cream the royal family prefers,” Josh complained from his position on the recliner.
“Fine,” Luke replied as he fingered through a stack of DVD’s with his right hand. “It looks like the only movie we haven’t already watched is Princess Bride.”
“Mark my words, I am not watching any more movies about a princess!” Mark countered.
Luke frowned. “Really man? You haven’t seen it? It’s not what you think.”
Josh shook his head. “Nah, we’ve watched so much TV my head hurts. Let’s get outside and do something.”
“There isn’t anything to do outside.” Luke held up his cast, “Remember?”
“Ah! And it itches so bad!” Mark complained, trying to scratch through the hard fibers. “I hope it doesn’t leave a permanent mark.”
Josh stood up determinedly, “Common, we were outside all the time before. Why should this stop us from having fun? We are, after all,” he paused, attempting a dramatic appeal, “Mark, Luke, and Josh, the Triumvirate rulers of Tivo, on the isle of Panasonica, guardians of the treasured X-Box.”
He raised up his left arm solemnly. The other two boys, suddenly aware that something important had begun, also stood up and raised their encased left arms forward, touching one boy’s elbow to the next boy’s hand, creating a ceremonious triangle.
The casts immediately began to glow a light blue. When the light subsided moments later their casts had hardened into arm-length gauntlets. There were no joints on these gauntlets, just a solid cast of armor from their fisted hands all the way up to their shoulder. The boys withdrew their arms and cheered: “Mark, Luke, and Josh, the Triumvirate rulers of Tivo, on the isle of Panasonica, guardians of the treasured X-Box!”
In the midst of their cheers a stout man crashed through the living room window.
“Bah! Boil! Tumble and trouble!” the man was yelling as he rolled from side to side amidst the rubble of a broken coffee table. The boys gawked at the person as he awkwardly erected himself, still spouting ‘Bah! Boil! Tumble and trouble!’ in more of a rumbling grumble than an actual yell. Now that he was standing still the boys realized he was quite like a dwarf, only his skin was white and his eyes nothing but a deep blue. And his hair! It was a pale hue that grew back, as if tied into a ponytail, only the other end swiveled back around from behind his ears and was firmly attached to the lower half of his face. This optical illusion made it impossible to tell where his hair ended and his beard began!
“Well stop staring at me and stop him!” the thing was saying as the boys regained their composure.
“Pardon me good sir,” Josh managed to say in his most polite knight-errant accent, “Would you be so good as to inform us of whom you are speaking?”
With the sound of a thunder-clap the roof lifted from its place and disappeared, to be replaced with the ugly figure of a four-eyed giant
“That! You lollipop!” the dwarf remonstrated.
“Holy Beef Macaroni!” Luke squeaked a he sheltered his head from falling debris with his gauntlet.
“This escalated quickly,” Mark remarked and began hefting his gauntlet arm from side to side in preparation for the impending activity.
The giant bellowed his challenge and plunged one of his three beefy legs into what was left of the living room.
The three boys glanced at each other with sudden understanding before shouting in unison, “Protect the treasured X-Box!”
Josh ran forward and flung his gauntlet at the tree-trunk of a leg. It bounced away from Josh’s arm with such force it toppled the giant to his two remaining knees.
Mark continued weaving his arm in a crisscross pattern until a bluish X appeared in the air before him. With a wave of his gauntlet he flung the X forward, searing the ephemeral shape into the giant’s face, blinding all four eyes.
“X marks the spot!” he shouted with a laugh.
Finally, Luke thudded his gauntlet against the ground, causing the ground beneath the giant to bulge violently upward, flinging it into the sky. It wailed its worst guttural cries as it disappeared into the distance.
“You did alright,” the surly albino conceded. “I suppose we’ll keep you around for a while.”
The treasured X-Box was safe for the moment and the boys smiled at each other with satisfaction. This was going to be a fun summer after all. A most fun summer indeed!
And thus their exploits were famous across the land. That is, until their arms healed and their casts were removed. School started a week after their arms were free once again so their imagination was put on hold while the boys utilized their precious cognitive retail toward schoolwork.
THE END
There is a conundrum every person will face. It is the bitter-sweet moment when you find something on the internet so funny, so silly, so incredibly stupid that you MUST show someone else, yet no one else is around to see it. 
Hello? Oh hi mom. Why do I never call? Oh common, you know that’s not true. What? What am I drinking? What does that have to do with anything? Yes, it does happen to be a can of Slurm. Why? 
Pigs are delicious no matter how you slice, dice, grill, fillet, broil, or grind it. Whether it be recognizable ribs, tantalizing tenderloin, sizzling bacon, or a good ol’ fashion hot dog. Whether smoked, cured, roasted, or smashed into sausage.
So your application says you are Doctor Ivo Robotnik, correct? As I flip through your resume I see that your previous job experience is quite impressive: specialist in robotics design and automation, bio-computation, engineer, and mechanical instrumentation tech.
creativebookwormwriter 