Youngins these days. I tell ya. Always worried that we’re gonna die from this or that. They don’t know the half of it. If they only knew what it was really like back in the day. Their going green trend is only a shadow of the past. Everything was green back in the days of the Oregon Trail, green and pixilated. All we had was a canvass wagon and a two-dimensional ox. Don’t even get me started on having to ford rivers with that.
What really rattles my spurs is when they yip and yell about them vaccinations. The only remedy we had for measles was a tomb stone epitaph. You try dying of dysentery on your way to Oregon and having to start over all the way back in Independence, Missouri five times out of ten. Those were hard times.