I’ve been thinking, this semester has been overwhelming. I have had a hard time keeping up with classes, I have not spent as much time with friends and with Rachel as I would have liked, and I have been probably the most lackluster in my personal spiritual development than I have been in a long time. In a word, I saw myself in a very humble position. I thought myself at least the better in realizing how much I have to do and accomplish, and how difficult its been, knowing how much more I need to be consistent and determined in my studies, relationships and personal development.
Yet it is in these lowly moments that God proves us wrong. God knows our stubbornness. God knows how much we are taken aback by our circumstances. God knows how easily we blame Him for our own crummy faults. So He must bring us to our lowest in circumstance…then after that is when He humbles us. In such a time when we feel like we are low, then discover we can be even lower! I say, ‘It can’t get any worse!’ But it does. This is because we are usually not in a position to be actually and truly humbled and brought to a clearer perspective until we are deprived of anything else to turn to but that which humiliates us. It is in this humiliation that I can finally say, ‘okay God, yes, I’ve been doing this all wrong. I have not been simply taking you at your word. I have not been seeking you as I should.’ Its like falling into a pit. It sucks so much we think nothing could be worse, and angerly scramble all over the place trying to get out (or at least make a big mess in the process). In this struggle the bottom crumbles and gives way into a deeper chasm. THERE is where God is actually working in a specific way to humble and restore us.
Ironically enough, God also uses humbling moments as these to bring blessing. Really! A humbling option for resolving a problem will be a source of blessing. And best of all, this is Scriptural too! Just read the redemptive story of God’s dealing with the Israelites. Especially seen in the book of Isaiah. So if things suck, and if the only plausible outcome/option is a humbling/humiliating one (that is still God-honoring of course), then maybe God still wants you to take it, as I have had to do in my life. It brings restoration, even if slowly…
A randomly appropriate quote: ” A treed squirrel only has one way to go. Don’t close any door because of pride; keep your options open.” ~ Anon.